"Before He Tweets": Parody of "Before He Cheats"

February 21, 2009 @ 08:35PM

I don't like this song, but it's been stuck in my head for some reason. Repeating over, and over, and over and... well, you get the idea. I happened to be reading some Twitter updates when the idea came to me. If I had to have this melody in my head, I may as well make up my own lyrics.

So, without further ado, the parody lyrics for Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats": "Before He Tweets".

Right now, he's probably IM'ing with a MySpace ho and she's probably getting horny
Right now, he's probably sending her some bathroom mirror shots and she's saying he's sexy
Right now, he's probably loading Twitter, telling all his subscribers that he's gonna get lucky
And he don't know...

I cracked the key for his WIFI and routed its traffic through my harddrive
Made myself a sexy AIM nickname
I put a trojan in some zipped up pics
Giving me root on his home PC

And maybe next time he'll think before he tweets.

Right now, he's probably wondering why his password's changed on all his networks
Right now, he's probably watching his Photoshopped face on goatse getting Facebooked
Right now, he's probably staring at a big blue screen and crying like a baby
And he don't know...

I cracked the key for his WIFI and routed its traffic through my harddrive
Made myself a sexy AIM nickname
I put a trojan in some zipped up pics
Giving me root on his home PC

And maybe next time he'll think before he tweets.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he tweets...
How do you know it won't be me?!
Ohh... won't be me...

I cracked the key for his WIFI and routed its traffic through my harddrive
Made myself a sexy AIM nickname
I put a trojan in some zipped up pics
Giving me root on his home PC

Maybe next time he'll think before he tweets.

Ohh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he tweets...

Ohh... before he tweets...

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